Funny Quotes

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.Abraham Lincoln

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.Albert Einstein

All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.Alexander Woollcott
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the targetAnonymous

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? Benny Hill

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it Bob Hope

He who laughs last didn’t get the joke Anonymous

Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in New  Zealand  Anonymous

High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead Anonymous

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I’m beginning to believe it Anonymous